My past... and my future.

So, I've been working on "me" a lot lately through a bible study at my church called "Grace Group".

"Grace Group" is a group of women who have been victimized by sexual assault.  I am a woman who was sexually abused as a child.  And no, I don't want you to feel sorry for me.  I want to explain how I feel.

I don't think about my abuse everyday.  I also like to internalize my feelings.  But I know God has a bigger plan for me.  Before coming to Vintage 21 church, I thought this abused occurred for a reason.  And that God had a reason.

But now I know through his redemption God did not want this abuse to happen.  He did, however, take something so ugly and painful and bless my life.  The man who abused me was evil.  This is Satan's work in this world.  God took this abuse and went on to make my life beautiful and show me His love.  God was with me all along.  He never left.

I can't look at my children's smiley faces everyday and say "woes me".  These children were miraculous gifts from God.   God has bigger plans for me.  My heart is full of love from my amazing family.  Now I want to go forth and expand that family!